Sunday, March 11, 2007

Today's a rather sad day for me. Disappointment in myself. I need to improve on my control of my pms.

Didnt wanna include details. But... I guess I've perhaps lost a good friend via my poor attitude.

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Went to the IT fair at Suntec today. In search of a digital camera. Saw many nice designs. But my mum didnt seem really interested to get one right now. And I didnt really need it either urgently or importantly. So came home empty handed today.

I guess. I should really wait till ORD to get all these luxury accessorities. There isnt much point getting them now. For I wont have the time and energy to utilise them. Bah. Till ORD!

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Again reflections kept on my hp. While doing guard duty.

I've been thinking. Have I improved over the years in term of character?
As time goes by, I do feel that I'd grown more mature. In the sense that I think better. More throughly. More accurately. More than frequently. Less hasty. Less noisy. Less irritating.

But i wonder. Would you perfer the me now or before?

Sometimes I do question myself. So what do we seemingly grown into more adult-like. So what if we learnt to be more mannered, civilised etc. While we grow up, we slowly loses our initial identity to fit what others expect of us. We slowly become so unlike ourselves. So what if we are not fitting into society's demands? So what if we are too childish, too naie for this grown up world?

Perhaps. We would have much to lose.Perhaps. We could form good impression being someone else.
But I miss being myself when I was younger. So usure of everything, yet not fearing failures. Straightforth with insults. Having fun. Simply, making a fool out of myself =) seemingly.

But that's being myself. Afterall. Someone so different from me now.
I'm so unlike myself.
Change perhaps. Is part of growing up. Part of our live. A necessity.
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I'm still disappointed with myself today.
A regret. A mistake. I wish I wouldnt make again.

Tata.
Sadly.

awaitin` destiny silently__] *at* 6:51 PM