Friday, December 08, 2006

I dread this feeling of emptiness that has already overwhelmed me.

It started creeping up onto me ever since schooling ended. Somehow, I cant seems to shake this feeling off and it kept getting stronger. So much so that I'm beginning to succumb to its desire.

Haiz. Too weak. Need to grow stronger. I cant always be a slave to my feelings. It will not work well in long term.

Someday, I need to break away from this barrier within me. Something that restricted my reason, my beliefs and me. Felt so controlled but in reality, I do not know this fear in me. Alas, defeated by an unknown source of power. Saddened.

Whatever. Enough of all the rubbish that I have typed up there. It's done without thinking, without reasoning, only purely with the heart.
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Watched Goong(Princess Hours) during this mini-blockleave. In fact, twice in 4 days. That sounds ridicious. Like what my father 1st reacted to me. He came home late at night, no, early in the morning 3am only to see me completed the series. Nxt morning he woke up to see me back to early part of the show. Wow. How bored I could get.

Ymh ar Ymh. Wake up pls. Stop wasting your time already!

Somehow, I feel that re-watching the show is only partly due to the fact that I really felt bored. Watching the fairytale-like show makes me start wondering if that could really happen in life. Whether I can really find myself a - princess - for myself. Weird. But Yoon Eun-Hye is really very super duper adorable lar. I dont understand why my brother thinks otherwise. But nvm. It's my opinion for my own ears/eyes/heart watever.

Haiz. I pardon myself for getting obsessed with the female lead. It's only right to do so. Stories portray the correct image and lead us to a conclusion they wish to achieve. They succeeded.

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Do we ever get to live like a fairytale? I wish we could. Become the hero of our time, a legend or leave behind tonnes of ppl admiring you. But how many could really achieve that. Haiz.

Goong taught me many stuffs. One of which is that when we grow up, we learn to think like adults. If that's what I am thinking right now, adults are really screwed-up personnel. Lols. I hate to feel/think the way I am now. Too empty. Too lonely.

I'm lazy to think. Lazy to reflect. Lazy to recall. Too messed up. Too many thoughts flowing in and out of me. Too fast to be registered. Phew. Too tired to think. Too tired to type anymore. Probably I cant type on. Probably I cant imagine anymore. Too lost in this pathetic world of mine.

But still, conscious enough to end off with my favourite tag.

Tata.

awaitin` destiny silently__] *at* 1:44 AM