Friday, December 08, 2006

Night sky is ever so lovely to look at. Sometime in my life, I have learnt to appreciate darkness more than light. I dislike having surrounding too brightly litted. I am energy-saving. I do not switch on my light at home unless I need to use it.

Nightfall gives me a sense of peacefulness. It symbolises the end of a day, a tiring day. No longer do I need to be bothered by the problems of the day. It's a time for me to reflect, to think back on the events happened in the day. It provides me with the logic and reason I need. It restores my calmness that I have lost. All is wonder at night. But along with it comes fear too. The fear that night does not last. The fear that I could not last for the next upcoming day. Night is so perfect but yet too fragile. Easily broken. Easily overcome.

Perhaps that's the reason why I always try to prolong the night. I choose to sleep real late. Only then, the length of my peace could exist.
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Last entry was really a mess. I must have been real confused. Real lost to have written that. Typed too furiously and rapidly that I found myself trapped in the process of endless typing. But nevermind. That sense of emptiness has gently relented. I'm back.
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Looking back, perhaps watching too much Princess Hours has affected my mood. I spent nearly 1/3 of these few days watching the vcds back to back, endlessly. Probably I ended up roleplaying too much. Lols. Believing in the plot of the stories. Probably I ended up loving the characters in the show too much.

Indeed. Like what was mentioned in the show - "The more I feel pity for Chae-kyeong, the more I yearn to learn more about her." - And gradually I fell in love with the character I guess. A love tragedy caused by seemingly endless misunderstandings, the show is highly addictive. It shows how love could change a person entirely. How love could make one be so determined. At the same time, how it results in selfishness and selflessness. Like a unknown element, it's really unpredictable.

Sometimes I wonder. When will I fall into such trap? Been single for a real long time. I have lost faith in lasting relationships though. Too many times has couples fell apart due to fading feelings. Will there really be true love? Or does our "love" merely lead us into endless pit of commitment. We might end up being together for the sake of being responsible. Bah. Lazy to explore further. Disappointed even with myself in this aspect.

Currently listening to Goong's OST - Dangshineun naneun pahboh imnida (You and I are stupid).
Watch the show for the meaning of the lyrics. I couldnt find a source for that. But it makes certain sense. At least for me. =) It convinces me that I am really stupid. Hahas. Yes. Ymh saying that he's stupid. Impossible.

Opportunities always slip past me too quickly. Perhaps I have been too undecisive. My fatal spot. Always too late for anything to occur. Leaving only strands of regrets and despression.

I never found the courage to say the right words at the right time =D When I do, it's the wrong words at the wrong time.

Moody swinging in the coldie darkie fearie air. And it starts to hurt too. Will it heal in time?
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Meow might end up surprised that I have went too far in this blog. I am starting to feel it too.
Break a heart to heal one. Does it hold true? I do not know.

My night is running out. Another day will come, another night will still come.

Perhaps I have written this entry too, in a mess. Just like the previous one.
Perhaps today is a just simple mess.

awaitin` destiny silently__] *at* 2:52 AM